1. |
Blackout
04:39
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someday we’ll fall back into the hours we thought passed us by
but until then we’re stuck here swimming through each other’s wake
we’ll become one with the landscapes crumbling around our feet
when the last anchor drifts out to sea
all along we’ll run away from our fatal flaws
that desecrate the webs we interweave our fingers through
face down along the floorboards the shivers consume every
nerve ending as you wake up to the sound of your rebirth
we’ll be alone enough to tell how far away our longing stays
when the county lines mean nothing but an empty grasp
all along we’ll separate ourselves into the dark
to kill off every way we strain to keep this alive
I can’t feel you anymore
all for the price of waking up without a millstone tied around my neck
are we really destined to wallow in the same mistakes
trying to find a pathway through the sunlight as it fades away
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2. |
Morse Code
04:15
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too late to turn away from who i’ve become
standing on the precipice of my new decline
all the streets are cracking now under our footsteps
I don’t want to let you down before I let down myself
these nights are full of empty promises of better days to come
until I fall back into the clockwork of every solitary cry for help
that leaves me broken in two, drifting through the fallout of my expectations
as the wind shifts for another season of disquiet
how many times will I know that you mean well
and still try to drown you out without a second thought
we share a severance with the pieces of
ourselves that kept us from spiralling into the end
this forest will burn into scattering signatures you left
everything turning to ashes while we don’t care at all
one by one the signs lead us astray and the stars looked down with indifference
I will swim right through this panel of glass you’ve built up to keep out these conflicts
but there’s more of me than I could bear to say
I couldn’t tell you how to feel any different now
I will linger through the end of the day as you lose yourself again
in the morning you’ll be fine and we’ll do it all over
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3. |
In Waiting
03:42
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I can’t remember when I started this descent into a hollow recollection of what I used to be
all through these back alleys the pieces of myself I left for dead will sit in waiting for a means to an end
who’d’ve guessed we’d grow old together decomposing at a steady pace
memory lane’s a dirty trick that I could never escape
this is not sanctity but as long as I’m still breathing I know your little ghost will follow me
this bittersweet existence is all we’ve ever known and it will carry us across the finish line
I can’t remember when I got out of this trainwreck thinking that I was headed for the worst and doomed to repeat
you’re out of breath I’m losing faith in it all but somehow we’ll make it through alive at least for a while
we will become everything this world takes for granted
silhouettes across their buildings ‘till we’re filled with something new
this is not sanctity but as long as I’m still breathing I know your little ghost will follow me
this bittersweet existence is all we’ve ever known and it will carry us across the finish line
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4. |
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someday I’ll be the one to send you off
before the sun rises again
watching the window as we fade away
and you’ll become what you desire
I know that luck runs out but until then
I’ll keep my conscience alive
the sky is dark now and it seems like everything is gone
except for the 4 walls that keep me from stumbling
into a new regret every other night
and the weight of your absence leans on me
I know in time the weather will change for you and I
I’ll be a garden where the sun won’t set
I want to be the reason you fall out
everything we’ve built will crumble to ash
but until then we’ll be here motionless
laying in our burning beds
and one day they’ll write our names
in the constellations overhead
on and on and on tripping down the pavement
right on through ‘till we reach the other side
everything you love could burn up in an instant
but every day like this makes it worth it in the end
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5. |
||||
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I spent all of last summer tracing the lines of my future
but always ending up at another roadblock or dead end
and I’d think of you in passing before the smoke filled my lungs again
this town is burning and we’re sitting in the yard
contemplating how long we’ll stick together ‘till our ashes fall
when you look in the mirror do you see someone you know?
have you distorted the picture frame until it’s something you can’t contain?
we’ll stand together at the water’s edge until the twilight hour comes for us again
you can’t keep asking me to be the best version of myself
while this life is falling apart around us every passing second
glancing through the gaps in the treeline
to a sea of white and blue so I might fall into some kind of bliss
tangled up in insecurity I know we might never be content
but at least we’ll have days like these
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6. |
Coda
02:30
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*spoken word*
all your memories of me are of someone that no longer exists
the subject of your fleeting figments of past conversations
became the smoke drifting out of the refinery near the harbour
the weak, feeble image you wanted to see now lies somewhere
at the bottom of the ocean
and whatever meek satisfaction you wanted to get
melted into the sidewalk
now I’ll walk into the crisp twilight air
rich with the scent of petrichor and community gardens
and i will know that the people from back then
are buried out in the woods, never to cross paths again
and i will know that i became a bottle of starlight
while you remained the same writhing plant
slowly decaying under your own weight
this thought will cross my mind, if only for a brief moment
and then it will pass, and I will move on.
we create these fictions because we’re afraid of moving on
but that fear is what keeps us in the same backwoods towns we’re born in
closing off the rest of the world while our voices echo down the same tired streets
and you justify everything with claims of ‘upholding tradition’
when in reality you’re just a cowering dog under the endless void of space
too disconnected to know when you’ve reached the end
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Kuiper Vancouver, British Columbia
2018-2022, now Dead End Sidewalk
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